Cats are lucky they are cute

I've been rather busy lately, so sorry to anyone actually reading my blog religiously, you must feel like I went on a trip up a holy mountain or something.
So, my cat is recovering from a brush with death. She felt the need to swallow two feet of black thread. I know this because we had to pay to have it surgically removed. Now her belly is shaved and has a new line cut into it. I love my cats but good gawd.
I guess I'm writing this to let those out there know to clear your damn house if you have a cat, mostly a young cat that doesn't know any better, or you may be paying a $1000+ vet bill and have to shove pills down your cat's throat and monitor when she uses the litter box to see if she poops. I can't believe I needed and hoped for a cat to take a crap so badly just recently.
So everyone heads up, you've been warned.

Lengthy Uncreative Expanse

It's been getting hard for me to slip into that crazy mood that usually spawns me thoughts. I was scrolling through some old notes and realized I was a lot stranger only but a year ago. So in that time did I change, hit my head, or maybe stop doing something?

I honestly miss that part of myself sometimes, because its where my best and worst ideas come from. It's what made me experience life in an odd fashion. So really I need to think of a way to bring it back. Although the suggestion of substance abuse to my friends has met with harsh words so I'll just have to try not sleeping right for a week or something.

Well on I go to my normal life sadly.

Threesomes are good in theory.

You know I was thinking about something. You know how when you get into a serious relationship and then you both start talking dirty to each other and then one evening the girl says "Well a threesome might be good, if it's with the right person". See the trouble with that is there really is no right person for a threesome. There is only threesome accidents. You know you and a bunch of people get drunk or wasted on some substance and then the next thing you know you're all naked and having sex and you're like 'Wooooaaaahhhhhhh totally in a threesome'. This is probably why it's best to have coed gatherings.
See your partner will never sign off on that other person, because they will be a little too off, little too weird, little too her cousin. So really...should we even bother saying 'Really? That's awesome!' to their bluff? I think not.

Thoughts...sorta

There are definitely things that I should stop doing, and there are other things that I should do more, but sadly I will never fully possess the mental ability to know the perfect balance between everything...so I drink.

Everyone should know

At least one curse.

Not like an actual evil curse where you have to draw out symbols and sacrifice a goat or something. But some sort of little thing you say in your head, something small, and a bit childish in nature. This has a suprisingly soothing effect on one`s inner being.
Say for example there is someone at work you hate (or just bump into on the street, I'm not judgmental). You mumble your little curse or whatever. Then karma swoops in and gives them herpes, WOAH MAN!, you have learned yourself the wrong kind of curse than what I`m talking about, stop that shit! But lets say that the person instead gets a bug in there coffee, or a paper cut, or can`t stop crying because their boyfriend ate the last of the honey nut cheerios. Then you my friend have the right curse and can point at them (from an unnoticeable distance) and go "I total did that to you!" (maybe don't yell it as I'm implying).

I don't want to understand

So I was thinking about this on the way to work and then the radio reminded me of it, so I figured I should write about it.

I hate Jersey Shore and I've never watched a full episode. I understand the concept of the show, bunch of players working out and going to clubs. That is the impression I get from hearing about it, and since I didn't bother to learn more, then you have to think it's a pretty poor thing if that's all I've fully heard. Now the reason I won't investigate if I'm wrong about placing my hatred on the show is simple, because that is why the show is on the air. Let me explain; People tune in to find out if this show really is as bad as they all say, soon they are watching more to see if maybe they didn't give the show a proper chance, then they are watching because it is similar to watching two monkeys fight over feces at the zoo, too disgusting to watch, too disturbing to look away.

I caught a snippet of the show one evening when I was walking through a room. I saw a guy called 'The Situation' slap some girl called 'Snooki' in the mouth because she refused to leave the club with him cuz he was bored. Just that alone urged me to watch further to figure out what the hell was wrong with this person, and the girl for that matter and as too why she didn't punch the jerk in the mouth. Maybe she has in other episodes, I don't care. I reminded myself that I didn't want to know because the notion of these people disgusted me.

The thing that was on the radio at work today was the 'The Situation' talking with the DJs. He actually told them that his mother was SO HAPPY with his show and what he was doing. Now I don't live in the states, I have never been to Jersey and even I know that is plain stupid. His mother is happy he is seen on television bossing people around, scoring with woman after woman, and slapping them in the mouth (and gawd knows what else). I highly doubt that, but at the same time I don't know his mother, she may have lived the same way, and too that I shake my head and sigh that it's a generational problem.

There is nothing wrong with living like a player, nothing wrong with going to the bar and having your fun. Human beings are like that, need that, to be happy. However, putting it on television for everyone to see is stupid and makes us all that more dirty for sitting there and watching it, encouraging it, even willing more shows like it too happen. Yeah we may live up here in Canada, and us watching or not watching doesn't affect American television. But do yourselves a favor and don't be part of the problem that is Jersey Shore or any of the other 'reality' shows that is the bile of our existence made public.

Long Night of Shorts

Don't you hate it when your brain refuses to go the hell to sleep? You wake up the next morning going "That's the last time I have Moroccan Spice and lentil red pepper soup before bed"

I honestly have no idea what was up with my mind last night. I had the standard 'You're at work but you have psychic powers to zap your mind around the store and catch customers' dream. But then I had a few other weird ones like suddenly we had the old family farm back, grandma had died and for some reason there was livestock there that I had to take care of. Oh and I put a barn in the barn so that was a nice fringe benefit. Coupled with the dreams I kept waking up every half an hour.

Maybe I should start sleeping on the couch again.

Office memo

>>While this company doesn't discourage co-workers having sexual relations, we do strongly encourage that you have their permission first.

Something not so new too the world, but new too me.

So a friend of mine said I should start blogging. To be honest I've never given it much thought because it seems that everyone is blogging these days and since it took me forever to get a cellphone, even though everyone had one, you can probably guess my reasons for staying away from here. But on the advice of several people I figured it couldn't hurt to try just one more of the technology age's little morsels, so here I am.


So  bit to start, I'm an artist working a crap job like so many Canadians under the Harper government. I have some stuff on deviantArt, feel free to find it and have a look. I've written a book and half of several others that still haven't been publish, despite trying, so fingers crossed and all the stuff.

Oh and if you can find me in the real world, walk up and say "Hey aren't you Biz?" and be right I'll buy you a cookie.

Ok, that's it for a starter, taste the rainbow.